Emily – The reality Of anxiety: "i feel like i don't know what to say To people"

Emily Turnbull is a 15-year-old high school student from Edinburgh who has experienced anxiety throughout her teenage years. In particular, her anxiety has impacted her socially. She explains in this interview how her anxiety has also affected her academic life and self-worth. Emily also addresses how being neurodivergent intertwines with her anxiety, and discusses the potential causes of poor mental health in Scotland.

She first touches upon how her anxiety comes to the surface during her everyday life at school:

“There is a lot of pressure with it being exam season. Especially socially, you are expected to be able to talk to people and have a really good social life alongside your exams, which I struggle with.”

Maintaining both academic success and a strong social group has been difficult for Emily:

“I feel like I have to shut myself off in order to do well academically.”

Regarding school, Emily explains how the pressure to do well in her exams can be anxiety-inducing:

“The pressure makes it feel like you won’t do well in your life if you don’t do well in your exams. I remember I didn’t do well on my maths prelim, and I felt almost worthless in a way.”

Emily also addresses how feeling anxious and pressured to achieve academic success can cause her to be critical towards herself:

Thankfully, school has accommodated Emily through adjustments such as extra time and separate accommodation. These adjustments allow her to focus on herself rather than compare herself to other people’s progress:

“If I was placed into an exam room, I would feel quite pressured because I would see other people flipping their pages and that would send a panic signal to my brain to think that I am slower than everyone else. That would stress me out a lot.”

Circling back to her social life, Emily explains how her anxiety impacts her:

Despite this, Emily remains optimistic about her future:

“I am planning to go to art college, and I think the environment that I would be placing myself into would be a lot more like-minded to me, rather than people in my school.”

Emily is also autistic, which she believes coincides with her anxiety in various ways:

“Being autistic involves struggling socially in a way, which leads to me not talking to as many people. When I do talk to others, they often think I am being weird. So, I think that causes me to feel anxious talking to people and meeting new people.”

Nonetheless, Emily reflects on how becoming part of a more accepting friend group has helped relieve her anxiety in some aspects:

She then reflects upon whether there is enough mental health representation today:

“I think there has definitely been an improvement, but obviously I still think there is always more improvement to be made as well.”

According to Scotland’s 2022 Census, the number of people with mental health conditions in Scotland has increased by 6.6% since the previous census in 2011. Emily reflects on why this may be the case:

“I would say politics. I think that especially with what is going on right now a lot of people are just losing hope in general about their futures. It is not just that side of it, I also think that with all of the conflict that is going on, and when people are looking into that they would just feel like there is nothing left that they can do.”

Ending our conversation on a positive note, music and art have been great techniques to help alleviate Emily’s anxiety. She shares more details about how these creative outlets have supported her:

Emily's story highlights the impacts that anxiety can have on somebody's everyday life. As a teenager, she has also shed light on how striving towards academic success can cause self-doubt and a lack of confidence.

According to the University of Glasgow, nearly one third of young people in Scotland have reported having anxiety. Furthermore, 31% of 15-year-old girls have experienced loneliness. Therefore, stories such as Emily's are increasingly important and deserve to be heard.